My Newly Established 'Have You Mugged A Vegan Today' Movement

I've decided to start a 'Have You Mugged A Vegan Today' Movement.  Although I'm not entirely sure it's not schizophrenia, like waking up and seeing giant spiders climbing the curtains, or believing you're Superman, only you're still wearing last night's kinky outfit you fell asleep in afterwards; I feel that I'm being pursued by angry Vegans.  Heavens, there are even people with surnames Veg, or Veggie.. 

Forget ISIS, this is a real threat to normal society and has to be nipped in the buds, so to speak. How can one but not feel harassed by indignantly pointed carrots and cauliflower padded boxing gloves waved in one’s face at every turn.  Oh and the bloody recipes they have to circulate in a desperate attempt to show their friends an almost delicious one they might wish to abuse their children with.  Hell, the only two people who've defriended me on Facebook (so far..) were angry Vegans who obviously felt limp and overcooked by my medium rare pokes of fun.  Oh, and just to show the even-handedness of my argumentative stance, there was a religious fundamentalist chap who felt that his Biblical quotes didn't warrant a response from the 'Dark Side' and clicked 'Unlike'. I do miss them terribly, as it's just not nearly as much fun without them being around.

I'm certainly not saying that all Vegans are bad.  Hell no!  Some of my best friends are vegans!   They just so happen to be people with a sense of humour and follow their diet in a quiet and dignified manner.  Like religious folk who drink wine and don't quote biblical verses outside of Church or Mosque in attempt to resolve the worlds ills.  The only person I know who shares his delicious meat recipes is the proud owner of South Africa's top steakhouse, the Local Grill, and that's understandable.  The rest of us Vegan-Atheists simply braai (bbq) quietly without fuss or recipe swapping bouts.  It's a sort of silent respect for the dearly departed I suppose.  Perhaps I embellish somewhat. 

So I feel I need to do something about this scourge before it gets out of hand.  You know, like Jehovah's Witnesses, 'reborn' fundamentalist religious types of any sect or religious order, badly behaved kids on planes, greedy politicians, Nigerian Lotto winning emails, insurance telesales people with no sense of humour (in fact, telesales people in general), and people who keep too many cats..   Who's with me..?