Always travel with airport friendly bottle openers and clean shoes

I'm glad to hear that it's not only me who gets pounced upon like a reprobate terror suspect at Australian airports (I fear that I may be opening myself up here..), but one should always travel prepared to open bottles of wine no matter what. In Aus however, they sort of eliminate the need for a cork screw, with 95% (my estimate) of their bottles being screw top, so I always take my finger along, to pop my cheek with a cork sounding 'pop', just to bring the romance of the wine opening ceremony back.

But even still, they pounce on me at the airport every time. Just armed with my finger... Only place in the world mind you, taking themselves awfully seriously, only to look so dissapointed when they only discover my 6 bottles of SA wine I'm bringing in as gifts. So they turn to my shoes (seeing I've come from the 'war-torn, dirty' continent), and instruct me to take them off and bang them, I suspect to quash their natural attacking instinct (being leather of a once wild beast you understand..), and then 'kindly allow me' to move on.. 

I can't say the same for the poor dude wearing a fez and his mate with an apparent 'dangerous' turban, both carrying worry beads in their luggage.., not even a sip of wine between them.. I could hear the smack of the invasive latex gloves behind the small curtained cubicle..  So clenching my butt cheeks tightly, I briskly move on to pop corks another day..

See:
Kaley Cuoco Reveals Awkward Discovery Airport Security Made In Her Bag

http://www.ladbible.com/entertainment/celebrity-film-and-tv-kaley-cuoco-reveals-awkward-discovery-airport-security-made-in-her-bag-20170929