Having nearly lost my father, at the age of 15, to a heart attack, induced by major, high level corporate stress (and some poor Russian genetics, it must be said), I suppose that I've been in the somewhat fortunate position to have been able to understand the two options of life from a very much earlier age than most. Wealth or Happiness. They need not be mutually exclusive, you understand, but the weighting is what's key.
As much as having had a very privileged childhood, my parents were very careful not to spoil us in the material sense. But we had the best education money could buy, holidays both locally and internationally to extraordinary places, luxury cars to be ferried around in, and a beautiful home in a very upmarket neighbourhood. However, whilst many of my mates had every electronic thing that opened and closed (yes there were some in those days), motorbikes and monkey-bikes at very young ages, brand new top of the range vehicles when they turned 18, paid for private pilot's licenses for fun, and the like, my recollection of my most prized possessions were purely sentimental. My prized cricket bat (nowhere near the level of today's average school boy bat) was one that stands out. I still have it. I proudly tried to pass it on to my sons, but they thought I was joking. So I oiled it and put it back in it's bag where it remains to this day.
Having just returned from a two week break up in the deep African bushveld, in the Greater Kruger National Park on the banks of the Olifants River, I am reminded once again of my desperation to hop off that treadmill and smell the 'wild potato bush'. One of the more erudite writers and contented souls that I know, is perhaps ironically to some yet not for me, a game ranger in that part of the world. A man who lives for the bush and all that naturally live within it. A man who once said to my then teenage son, deliberating his future career, "You know my boy, many people say that Game Ranging is a poorly paid profession. But I'd have to disagree. If it's money and possessions you need to bring you happiness and self fulfillment, then perhaps. But I get paid in sunsets, and that is something that money cannot buy". Certainly if money could buy one 'sunsets', it would only be on a short holiday or in one's retirement years, by which time only a few if any sunsets may remain to enjoy.
By contrast, a dad with a son at school with mine some years back, a guy who was by this stage many times over a very wealthy fellow, once said something that I'll never forget. He said, "Greg, you know I really envy you." On asking why somewhat perplexed, he responded, "You really know your boys. You've made it your mission to be a major part of their lives, to be at every sport, cultural or other event possible that they've taken part in, and you clearly have a close rapport with them. I on the other-hand don't. I've seldom been to my son's matches, or award evenings, music events and the like, because I was working. I honestly don't know my sons, nor they me." Reflecting on what he had just said I was truly flattered and yet saddened by his honest comment. I replied, "But why? Why do you carry on working so long and so hard? You've had more money than most, for decades already. You have a younger son (youngest of 3) who is still at school, with only a few years left. Why don't you change your envy to reality for yourself?" He agreed that it was a very good idea. But never did it.
Even I'm embarrassed at times that it takes my recharge in the bush or on my favourite remote strip of beach in the Eastern Cape, to once again be reminded of that which is truly important in life. I suppose those places are just so back to basics, that is a complete contrast to city life as we know it. As much as I often joke that life is just to short for bearable company, palatable food and average wine, there are times when the city-slicker world in which we live envelopes one above the eye balls, so much so that we are running on the ever-demolishing wheel of self destruction without realising it.
Sure there are important things in life where money can certainly help, no-one's saying it isn't important to a degree. However it is that degree that often get's blurred, and our apparent drive to Self Actualisation on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, that tends to get stuck in the bottom part of the hierarchical pyramid of rather basic needs & material wants. Simply put, motivated by shear greed. Poking one's head out above it all to 'smell the wild potato bush' becomes a desperate need for a paid for holiday as opposed to a life changing event or merely a very different, yet logical mindset change.
I have been convinced since early on that chasing riches ends in tears at best, but most likely one's premature demise. Some of the saddest people are those I met whilst working briefly as a water-ski instructor in Monte Carlo teaching billionaire rich kids to ski in the Mediterranean. They were the saddest and loneliest kids I'd ever met. The sad state that most of us wake up to too late is perhaps only on reaching retirement (assuming one makes it that far), only to wonder what happened to life, to one's family and true friends. Surrounded by one's magnificent mansion overlooking the best view money can buy, with one's luxury yacht moored on the jetty, 10 permanent crew all bustling about to get it ready for a week or two cruise of the year, helicopter on the pad and Learjet in the expensive hanger up the drag. And yet the kids don't call (except for money occasionally), friends, well just aren't true friends. No hobbies of note, because one 'just didn't have the time for such before', and a large empty void that can never be filled. You may get a few Sunsets to watch, but can you really enjoy them? Not likely. Sunsets need passion, excitement, romance, friends and family to share them with, otherwise they merely become the period before darkness.
So. Open that special bottle of wine tonight, the one you've been hording for years for that one special occasion that never comes. Go off up the mountain or to a remote part of the beach, bush or wherever you can just ponder alone for a few hours this weekend, and write down your remaining life's Mission Statement, fleshed out into your top 5 or 6 objectives, one for each part of what you regard as important in life. Family, Friends, Work, Play, Personal Development, Travel, or what ever. You may just be surprised that money and wealth are nowhere to be seen on your list. If they are, well then I'm sorry for you.
Perhaps this video will give some further inspiration.. Enjoy!
